I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
