Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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