You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
