a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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