i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
this will be a night to untag.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
