I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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