so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
