a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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