What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Randomize
