We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
