I hate all girls vehemently.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
