i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
