the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
