she looked like the before picture.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
