i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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