WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
