either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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