god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
