Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
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Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
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I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Who died my cat blue again?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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