I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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