The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
