I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize