Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
