he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I had to cum in my sink.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
