I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Let's get the cat blown out
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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