it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the day after is always just damage control
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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