I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
