dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
