I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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