ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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