Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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