My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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