Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
