Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
