before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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