there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
