BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
