i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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