your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
