I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
