I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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