Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
