one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
two words: eviction party
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
