3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize