I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
