your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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