I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
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Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
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My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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