She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
