did you get engaged???
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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