It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
