Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
