I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
