how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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