The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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