I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
