I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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