I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
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My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
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So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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