WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
